What Are You Waiting For?

clipartclockSeveral years ago I had the wonderful adventure of sorting through 60 years’ worth of my parent’s stuff for the purpose of organizing, sorting, and preparing for an ultimate sale. Once I got past the cabinets full of every coffee can, glass jar, Styrofoam container, and magazine that ever entered the house I moved on to the land of appliances that don’t work, recipes saved but never used, buttons in jars, and shelves of fabric saved to make things that never got made. Needless to say, this has made me examine what we save and why.

Something that really stood out were the items carefully wrapped up and tucked away or stored on high shelves that I had never seen before in my life. They were nice items; a never used lace tablecloth, crystal stemware and sets of dishes, enough bath and body products to open a store and much more. These were the things my mother was saving to use for a special occasion, a special dinner or special company. I have to tell you, that revelation changed my life.

Besides the fact that I immediately started letting my daughter use the good glasses instead of plastic ones obtained from restaurant chains, I am slowly changing the way I handle my life. I had to ask myself, “What am I waiting for?’ and I came up with lots of answers.

I was waiting until I was:

-thin enough

-old enough

-tall enough

-successful enough

-happy enough

-loved enough

-bright enough

-rich enough

and just plain ENOUGH!

As a recovering perfectionist, I realized I am never going to be ENOUGH of whatever it was so I’d better just do it, use it, try it, get on with it now! If I fall on my face or get laughed at, who cares? I’ve always learned to live, learn from it and move on, so what’s stopping me now?

How about you? I believe we all have a mental list of things we are waiting for, and like my list and my mother’s treasures, instead of being true and precious, it is only keeping us from achieving, enjoying and becoming what we were meant to be.

So make your list, challenge it, tear it up, throw it away and stop saving yourself and your talents for some ‘out there’ magical time that will never come. NOW is the time and you make your own magic.
“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Control the Comparisons

When people gather it is easy to fall into the comparison trap. Unfortunately that can even occur during the holidays. I love this Self Care tip from my friend Karen Rowinsky and wanted to share it with you as you head straight on into the holiday week. Thank you for joining me in 2011 and I look forward to more sharing and growing together in 2012.

 Control the Comparisons                                            
by Karen Rowinsky                                            

Studies on happiness reveal that happier people do not spend much time comparing themselves to others. Of course that is easier said than done. Most of us compare ourselves, our kids, and our economic status to our friends, neighbors, and colleagues. We make assumptions that other people are happier, more in love, more cared about than we are.

The problem with comparing ourselves to others is that some of our assumptions may not be true. People usually put up a good front. Many people show us what they want us to see. They don’t show us their pain about their relationships, the problems with their kids, or their unhappiness or depression.

If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, take a moment to question whether you are basing your comparison on reality. Sure they might have a nicer house than yours but they might be struggling to make payments. Their kids might seem to be excelling in sports but how much pressure are they under? They may have a smile on their face but what is it hiding? You will most likely never know if what you assume is accurate, so why bother comparing?

Self care is controlling the comparisons. When you find yourself comparing, substitute a few minutes of being thankful for what you have instead.

Karen Rowinsky, LMSW, is a licensed master social worker. She has a private counseling practice in Overland Park, Kansas.

Contact her at: 913-663-3511 or http://www.overlandparkcounseling.com/