It’s February and my question for you is “How did that New Year’s Resolution thing work out for you?” The idea of resolutions has become so archaic and fraught with failure that many of us choose to bypass the process altogether. While I love to make lists and check them off, it is useless to make a list of changes you want to make on the outside until the inside is in better shape. Instead of focusing on exterior resolutions such as start an exercise program, organize my office, or lose 10 pounds, I chose these five steps to a fresh start that came to me at 4 a.m. when my brain refused to sleep. Even after reviewing them in the harsh light of day they make sense to me and I hope they do to you!
5 Steps to a Fresh Start
1. Let go of hurt–Little ones take hours or days; big ones might take years. Releasing the hurt, resentment, and anger you have over an incident or about a person will in turn release yourself to grow. I realize that sometimes there is no closure or perfect solution to what is bugging me so the best alternative is letting go.
2. SHH Do a secret good deed for someone at least once a week–It helps get rid of the “Hey look at me!” attitude that seems to plague our society and will make at least two people feel better. This is kind of like random acts of kindness done with a purpose and a mask.
3. Stop being a Drama Queen (or King!) No matter how cute it looks on t-shirts and hot pink pillows trimmed in sequins or feathers it doesn’t play out well in real life. In reality it is a lot like a saying my mother used to tell me over and over, “Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.” Exception to the above: It is okay to play the Drama Card if you are doing it with humor and effect to make a point, just don’t make it your personality.
4. You are a collection of all your experiences Take charge of the experiences you have so you don’t turn out to be a pile of junk. Value yourself enough to decide what is worthwhile and what is not. Make good connections to others and be choosy about who you open your soul to.
5. Be of service Any way, anytime, anywhere. I’ve never felt as useful and alive as when I’m stepping outside myself to make a positive difference for someone else. Opportunities for service are everywhere. It doesn’t have to be in another country or another state; it can be next door, at work, or for a family member. It will become habit forming and it can change the world.
So what if these five steps don’t make you thinner? They will improve the quality of your life and put you in a much better position to make carefully considered improvements to your whole self. The goal is not to be a beautiful facade; the goal is to be an authentic whole.